Free stimulus help for just $999, one night only

Somewhere in America, someone already is making a gazillion bucks applying for free government money from the new federal stimulus package.

In fact, they have been doing that since 1999, according to a date on one of the slides a really persuasive pitchman showed at a hotel ballroom conference I checked out to learn, in the sponsor's words, "How to Profit from the Trillion-Dollars in Government Bailouts and Programs!"

The Federal Trade Commission is skeptical.

I haven't seen numbers yet, but more observers are noticing that scam artists appear to be using the new federal stimulus programs and the current recession to try to rip us off. Some of them have always tried, of course, but now they've got new headlines to work with.

I would have stuck around to learn more, but I'm job hunting and I'm not putting even a bargain $999 today only on my credit card. Plus if you are persistent and patient enough, you can find the same information about stimulus grants, government jobs and other genuinely useful help straight from the government itself.

To be fair though, I missed by chance to earn $150,000 as a caretaker on a tropical island too. It would have been fun and $150,000 Australian would have been nice.